The Track of the Pocket Miner
Page 14.
Wutbipe keys his mike, "Whatch it boyz! That stuff culd be buby trap-id. Bet that minur-puke would just luv to waste another Eli!.................. Hey, is you guyz killin dawgs? Hows kum yous is killin dawgs and dint nobudy tell us?!"
On the surface Wimdit takes cover behind the still warm body of Drich. He picks up the blast rifle and rests it on Drich's unmoving back. He pats Drich on what is left of his head. "'Ere now Drich, you is not done here yet; is puttin' alla YOU atween me an dat powergun! Maybe da resta you armor be better dan da back a your helmet eh? You is almost more useful now dan you was afore!"
"Fabe, is you seein da smoke plume from dat damn STF ennywheres? I is not wantin it limpin up on me. Iffen enny a you udder guys can hear me, I is ober here ahind Drich. Da STF canna see me, but don't fly too high iffen ya comes out, or it'll see YOU. I is gots a slaber, da PML, a HCSMG, anna Drich's blast rifle. Where is ya, Wutbipe?"
Wutbipe, amazed at his own luck, pauses for a moment at the bottom of the hole, keys his comm to open freq and says "He wus da lucky one, minur-puke". He then looks down at the Tic family crest, crudely emblazoned on his left shoulder. His chest swells with pride as he reads the high-Eli motto. "We're not real smart, but we can lift heavy things".
"Stay were you is kumandur Xrit, ey am on my wey to a-syst you!" He faces south, checks to make sure the backblast won't do any harm, then jets from the hole. Flying "nap-of-the -earth" through the smoke from the remains of the miners tent, he hopes that his IR sig will be lost or at least confused. He is lucky. A burst of cyan light flashes past him. A second shot smacks into Drich's dead body, as Wutbipe lands next to his commander.
BELOW the surface of this deadly world Turel Bevlik, totally confused as to what he was gonna DO next jumped almost high enough to bonk his Eli Raider helmet on the cave roof when the voice in his commset blasted out, "YOU SUMBICHES KILLED MY DAWG!" Bevlik spun about, thrusting his laser rifle forward, safety OFF, looking for the crazed miner, almost causing Zuve's bladder and sphincter to fail when HE found that he was staring at the business end.
"HOLD FARR! HOLD FARR! DAT ISSA AH FRENLY! " screamed the smart tar- geting system on BangedventoleBetsy. "TUREL, youse Dikhaid, DOAN SHUTE!"
Bevlik, steps behind Zuve, sweeping the lasgun muzzle in a practiced hand / eye coordinated move, right to left, up and down, like a phan sniffin out trouble. "Deres sumpin bak deres! Sum fings, itty bitty fings! Inna dah cave, boyz!" Bevlik dials up his visor , trying to see wot the critters look like, sniffing, wiggling his big red nose, and straining those lovehandles, intent on strange smells and sounds ......
"Boyz, Ayes canna seem to raise da Bozz wit mah hailmutt vid/comm lynkz! Howes ah bout youse?" Bevlik bonks his helmet against the cave wall several times to clear up the tech - nical difficulty. "Bozz! Youse hokay opp deres?"
WHAAAAAAAA-WUMPPPPPP! ZZZZZZ - ZZZIIIIIIIZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ !!!!!!
The unexpected sound of Wutbipe torching off his jumppack, and associated flying crap in the confines of the tunnel almost made Turel Bevlik's already strained bladder and sphincter give way in shocked surprise, causing the old Eli Raider to duck down, automatically squeezing off a short panicky burst of emerald green laser light! The burst zapped passed the pop-eyed Zuve, hammering holes into the cavern wall several feet to the left of Hitshaid, who made a valiant attempt to crawl into the hole he had been examining. Turel Bevlik, releasing the trigger, spun about, all thoughts of attempting a controlled flight down the tunnel blown off as he watched Wutbibpe zoom out of sight. He bellowed into the tac-com; "GODS OWF SPACE! WUTBIPE,YEW AWL MOSSED SKEERED DA CRAP OWTA MEES!"
Then , rather sheepisly to Hitshaid and Zuve, with his face glowing redder than his big nose under the helmet visor, "XHIT! Sawrees 'bout dat boyes! Ayes issa yust ah beyitt yompy, wiff awl dat hassa ben hoppnan on dis heeyars deff woild!" Bevlik makes a show of deliberately clicking on his laser rifle's smart targeting systems, which responds to the muzzle pointing toward Tuibb by shreiking, "BEVLIK, YOUSE IDJETT! DAT'S AH FRENLEE DOWN DERES! DOAN SHUTE!"
Trying to be cool Bevlik, points the muzzle at the cave ceiling, and asks the other Eli Raiders, who are staring daggers at him through their visors, "Hoo shot da dawg?" And then, in the silence down below, "Wot dew youse boyes fink wees awt tew dew nao? Stay hee-yars? Goze bak tew hep da Xhit, ahhh, ummm, da Boss anna Wutbibpe? Fors ward march tew finez wot is op ahaid inna dose uvver tunnels?"
And then Addressing the distant Fabio Bronstik; "Fabio, ken youse tells usses eff dis stoffs inna dis hee-yars bugkatz is dat ahmeeckirs stoff"
TB, deciding that the boyz were not in any mood to talk after having the xhit scared out of them by his panic fire, rolls his eys toward the cave roof and says, feelingly, "XHIT!!!!!!!! WYE MEES!!!!!XHIT!!!!!"
Turel then turns slowly, takes a deep breath, and charges down the tunnel after Wutbipe, running as fast as his middle aged and overweight Eli Raider butt will allow back toward the entrance to the tunnel to support the Boss and Wutbipe. "GODS OWF SPACE!!!!"
Those same little cave critters that were amazed by Wutbipes passage, were just starting to peek out of hidey holes after him, when they felt the ground shaking, heard the thundering paws, snorting, and bellowing of SOMETHING ELSE pounding along the tunnel the long gone Eli Raider. Wheezing and blowing, sweating a monsoon under his Raider armor, Turel wishes he was 20 years younger and lighter as he thunders along the tunnel like a pregnant phan ! "DOAN SHUTE, DIKHAID! DERE ISSA AH FRENLEE OPP AH HAID!!!" BangdventoleBetsy's smart targetting system sounds off in his helmet earphones. "DOAN SHUTE DIKHAID!"
"Shuddafuggoppbeech!" snarled Bevlik between gasps for air, making a mental note to get another voice for the system; the voice of his ex bak on Taxxes was starting to wear thin (of course, SHE was WHY HE was on dis woild owf hawraws! Gods owf Space SHE was enough to drive a poe ole reetarred Eli Raider bak inna tew space!). Pausing to lean against the tunnel wall, and catch his breath, Turel Bevlik , launches into a mental tirade: "XHIT! Ayes shud be on Lee's Woild trinkin beeg bears anna ice-ballin dem jinglin tits att da THYME OWT CLUB! Wot dafuggissa Ayes doin heeyars wiff youse dewds!" Slightly recovered, Turel hitches up his beer belly, and pounds down the tunnel after Wutbibpe, laser rifle jammed out in front of him like a phan's pegker, awl eager tew dew sum shutin..... "Gods owf Space! Ett sure dedna seem layke HE walked dis dommed far alongk dis dommed tunnawl.......!"
Trotting past Hitsead who is using his combat knife to dig the yellow crystals out of the rock pocket, Tuibb says, "Hitsead, looks like you found de 1st Amcrys. Pocket dem crystals and you caan buy de hot and cold running maidens at de next port!" On the same open freq used by the miner Tuibb broadcasts, "Sorry 'bout da dawg, Terry. We tawt is was your mama!"
"It is mighty low to kill a man's dog!" comes the miner's reply.
(Find out more about the Disco Nightmare) (Read the stats for the Eli warriors) (See the map for the game.)
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